10 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

I love that you are spreading joy and making a difference daily!

You make your way through the day, being kind, courteous and just plain nice to people.

You smile, open doors and treat others with respect.

You point out the positive, encourage those that are struggling and still do what you can to bring people up.

You Are Kind…to most people.

There is one very important person that you tend to forget.

YOURSELF

You know I’m speaking the truth here.  Most of us are extremely critical of ourselves and there usually isn’t a good reason for it at all.

10 Ways that everyone can be Kinder to themselves:

1. Looks – This is first on my list because I know that everyone has something about their looks that they are dissatisfied with.  Did you see that key word? EVERYONE.  You aren’t alone in this.  Everyone has something they hate about themselves.  Long nose, big butt, frizzy hair, point ears, bushy eyebrows etc.  When those people that love you the most look at you, they don’t see the things you are most critical of; they see YOU – the core of you!  Your heart, how you love, how you give and how you care.  When they flip through their pictures of you, they look at what you were doing, remember how much fun you were having and how special you are.  Sure, work on losing weight if you need to, go to the eyebrow waxing torture chamber and tame the crazy hair somehow…but do NOT let those things hold you back from enjoying the gift of daily blessings and joy with those you love.  Take the pictures, laugh with friends and have fun! Those that love you most will always love you regardless of your looks.
2. Goals – Everyone has goals and dreams that they long to reach.  Trouble is, we set such unrealistic goals that we can never reach them.  We often think that if we shoot for the moon and miss, we’ll land in the stars and that is true.  Trouble is there are those that if they don’t reach their goals, they let that disappointment steal their joy and they simply stop trying.  Learn to set goals that are attainable and keep raising the bar as you reach your goals. A small step forward is still a step forward.  My friend and coach Bridget Haymond has an excellent article on this.  I hope you’ll take time to read it and start reaching those goals you set. Article Here-->  The 8 Beatitudes of Goal Setting
3. To Do Lists – Raise your hand if you are guilty of the never ending to do list.  (Yes, my  hand is up) Many people will judge the success of their day based on if they got everything done from their list or not.  Don’t do this.  You are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.  Let that list guide you.  My list is because my memory is horrible.  When I think of something that needs to be done, I jot it down so that I will not forget it.  Don’t let your to do list bring you down and keep you there.  Use the list for what it was intended for….a tool to keep you on track. Here are some fun printables that I use to help me remember.
4. Moments of Joy – Our days are busy, our nights seem short and before we know it, it’s time to go to bed only to get up and do it again the next day.  Take some time to enjoy some moments that make your heart smile.  It might be a manicure, a makeover or it might be some time curled up with a book and your favorite cup of tea or coffee.  Don’t let a single day pass you by without enjoying a special moment for yourself.  Don't let these thieves steal your Joy. 
5. Housework – This is truly never ending.   There will always be something to do in your home.  Always.  If you have small kids, don’t let housework interfere with some play time.  Make sure you play with the kids.  The housework will always be there, but the children won’t.  If you have unexpected guests and your house isn’t white glove presentable, smile and enjoy the company.  They aren’t there to see how you keep house; they are there to see you. PS...delegate.  Get your kids involved. This will ensure that they can truly take care of themselves when they are older.
6. Activities – Everyone is busy and no one wants to say no.  We have to take child 1 here, child 2 there and still find time to make family time count.  Yes, you want your children to experience sports and other activities, but keep in mind it is ok to say no.  Don’t over schedule them or yourself.  If someone asks for your help and you can’t do it, kindly say “I’d like to but I can’t.” Or say, “I can’t do that, but I can do this for you” and then offer up what you could do.  My philosophy is it never hurts to ask because the very worst that can happen is they will say no.  Here is an article on taming the madness of special occasions.
7. Laugh – This is a must.  You need to be able to laugh at yourself and for yourself.  If you need to watch funny videos or read a joke a day, make sure you take some time to laugh today!  Laughter lifts the heavy heart and helps you through the difficult days.  And besides, your heart will thank you! I love crazy random things. Here is where I pin those things.
8. Celebrate your strengths – You have things you excel in! Celebrate them and do them.  Use what you are good at to help you reach your goals and those things that you struggle with, ask for help.  Don’t beat yourself up because you can’t do something.  Find someone who excels in what you are weak at and work together.  Focus on what you are good at and move past what you struggle with.  We all struggle and we all need help with things.  Ask for help when you need it and don’t feel guilty.
9. Let It Go – There are days when I simply wish I didn’t care so much.  It’s something that I struggle with but every day, I’m learning to let go of things that I can’t control.  I’ve always been a “roll with it” kind of gal, but the “let me fix it” “take charge” person in me just wants to handle things.  That just isn’t going to always be possible.  You truly have to “Change what you can, Fix what is wrong and find the good in the rest!” - Here is more on Letting Go
10. YOU Matter – Many struggle with feeling useless.  As soon as you get this settled in your heart, you will be kinder to yourself.  You are the world to someone and you matter more to them than you’ll ever know.  Write it on your mirror, make a note to yourself at the top of your to do list or calendar – “I will be kind to myself today because I matter!”

FREEBIE – just because I truly want you to be kind to yourself, just like you are to others – One extra – keep a good attitude.  I know when life beats you up and the struggle is great it is the most difficult time to maintain a positive attitude, but trust me – it will help you more than you realize!

Respect yourself, love yourself and be kind to yourself!

I challenge you to take the time today to be kind to yourself.

JOYn the conversation:

If you are willing to take time to be kinder to yourself, let me know.

What do you struggle with?  Are you willing to share it? Doing so will help and encourage others.

What are your thoughts about how we treat ourselves? How else can we be kind to ourselves?

Do you have an article relating to this? If so, please take a moment and leave a link in the comment section so that others can easily hop over there and be encouraged.

Please visit our main site for this article & share your thoughts as well as check out other links on this topic. - http://www.spreading-joy.org/site/10-ways-to-be-kind-to-yourself/

I have Learned

This year has been a roller coaster of emotions.

I’ve been thinking lately on all the lessons that I’ve learned this year and here is a quick list of 30 things that I’ve learned.

I have learned:

1. Time together is a priceless gift
2. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and those that truly love you will always see the beauty
3. Laughter and joy are contagious and we as a society need to do more of it on purpose
4. Changes usually end up for the best, even though the process is difficult sometimes
5. Pain is pain and it all hurts
6. Sometimes a phone call softens the horrid blows life throws at you
7. Just because something didn’t turn out the way we expected doesn’t mean we failed
8. Today is most important as tomorrow may never come
9. The pain, struggles and issues of today help to prepare me for tomorrow
10. Sometimes all you can do is cry
11. Yesterday can create a wiser today which creates a brighter tomorrow
12. That no matter how hard I try sometimes, that “it” just isn’t going to happen…and it’s ok
13. That there is beauty in brokenness
14. To focus on facts instead of feelings, because feelings can be and often are incorrect
15. Those that push us away need us the most
16. The legacy you leave is your choice
17. That even though your heart is in a million pieces that you can still love greater than you ever imagined
18. Unconditional love is such a gift
19. That sometimes there is just no understanding…that’s just the way it is
20. That even if it’s a good thing, it might not be good for you
21. Not to let the bad times steal the joy of the moment
22. That there will always be “something” going on, but more importantly the Lord is always by my side
23. Not to let the shallowness and criticism of others define who I am and what I do
24. That no matter how bad it gets, it will always work out for good….always
25. That spreading joy without expectation of anything in return has a far greater return than anyone can imagine
26. Anything that isn’t finished today, usually waits until tomorrow and it’s ok
27. That when I can’t even speak that uttering a simple prayer of “Lord, help me” can bring waves of grace and peace
28. That there is always hope
29. That I’m not going to please people, so I’m just going to focus on pleasing the Lord
30. That doing a little is better than doing nothing at all

Even though this is a mixture of good and bad…it’s truth, it’s real and authentic.

What have you learned through life’s lessons?

I hope that you’ll leave them below in the comment section and encourage those that will read this after you.

The Everyday Hero

Heroes

They don’t always leap tall buildings in a single bound and drive invisible jets.  They normally don’t run around with capes and tights and have lasso’s that force the truth from people.

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.  Age isn’t a factor and neither is IQ.

Sometimes the biggest heroes are those that you’d never suspect.  Their clothing, their education and their current home/vehicle doesn't indicate in the least bit that there is a hero around, but make no mistake – they are there.

Dictionary.com says that a hero is

“a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his bravedeeds and noble qualities.”

My favorite Super hero is Wonder Woman.  She is an ordinary gal by day and when the circumstance calls for it, she transforms herself into a force to be reckoned with.

So many people feel that because they are simply “ordinary” that they don’t impact this world.  This simply isn't true.  The fact that you try says more about you than you'll ever realize!

It’s the ordinary people doing what they can day in and day out that leave the legacy and continually impacts the hearts of those they come in contact with.

Let me tell you of some of the heroes I know:

• Their bodies are worn, their hands don’t work like they use to and their memory is cloudy at best. They still get up, expecting to make a difference for others and do so to the best of their ability
• They are steady in the midst of instability
• Pain is their constant companion but they get up one more time and do what they can
• They give of the little resources that they have and expect nothing in return
• They seize daily opportunities to bring a smile to someone, knowing that it could change that person’s entire day
• They smile through the tears
• They try and try again AND try again....
• They are courageous, even when it seems everyone is paralyzed with fear
• They are consistent day in and day out with kindness to friends and family
• They play with their children, while remaining the parent that stands firm as an authority figure in their life, knowing that friendship will come one day
• They laugh…. But are completely serious when necessary
• They make memories and treasure them
• They go above and beyond what is asked without hesitation
• The realize the value of “a little bit”
• They are gentle and full of compassion, yet firm and stand strong
• They take action, not waiting and hoping that someone else will do it
• They positively influence people, while being well aware that they WILL influence someone daily, so they make it for the best
• The serve our country and stand strong for her, even if they have to stand alone

They are real… real as rain and I love surrounding myself with amazing heroes like this!  Many people let the “ordinary” fool them, but I always try and look past the ordinary, deep into the heart and find the extraordinary…the hero!

Why do we focus on the negative aspects of our self?  We are ok, just the way we are!

Why do we not see the hero that lies within our own heart?

I don’t want us to walk around puffed up and prideful, but too many people spend much of their lives at the other end of that thought, as if their life is meaningless.

YOU – you truly do matter and you make a huge difference! I’m thankful for the Spreading Joy Heroes that step up each month and make a donation to help make a positive impact on others. You are an amazing Spreading Joy Hero!

I’m thankful for those who give at each fundraiser, knowing that the kids we help will never get to personally tell them thank you – but still…they help anyway!  You are a Spreading Joy Hero!

Do you see the hero in the ordinary? Or does the ordinary just glaze over your heart and you miss the gem that is there, waiting to be discovered?

Do you appreciate when someone steps up, doing a little more than expected?

What about you? YOU ARE a hero to someone!  You may not feel like it on most days, but you are.

Tell me a little about the heroes in your world!  Share a little of their story!

Be a Hero today!

Have fun Spreading JOY!

What in the World

After this week’s bombing attack in Boston, I’m hearing a lot of questions like:

• What is this world coming to?
• What in the world does it take to get someone to this kind of place?
• Why would someone feel that this is the only thing they can do to get their point across?

And many others….

I have to say that I truly don’t know what or why and I wonder if we will ever actually know the real truth behind what has happened to provoke the Boston attack.

I know that we can’t change the past, we can’t undo the harm, fear and terror that so many had to endure and we can’t bring back the lives that were lost…. but I ALSO KNOW that we (those of us who wonder why, what etc) can stand apart from this type of violence and shine brighter than the shadow that this has cast on us.  We can be beacon of good during this dark time in the USA.  We can pierce the darkness and gloom by being what we want this world to be.

The truthful answer to the question “what is this world coming to” is that it is becoming what I am becoming, and what YOU are becoming.

If we want things to be better and a ensure better world for our children then we need to be mindful of what WE as individuals (and our family) are doing and take the extra steps to be force for good in this world!

Just for starters – here are immediate things we can do to pierce the darkness with a ray of JOY and sunshine that will be contagious!

• YOU be the good that you are desperately looking for – don’t wait for others to do it – you start right now! Take Action!
• YOU be the example that you want your family to follow – don’t assume that someone else in your family will be the matriarch
• YOU be the one to help others without expecting a single thing in return – people are always willing to help, usually as long as there is something in it for them. Don’t be this way – stand apart from the crowd
• YOU be the one to seek the positive and good in the negative situations – it’s there, it is usually covered up.  I was so thrilled to see reporters trying to find the positive when they were reporting this tragedy.  Yes, it’s a tragedy but like one reporter said, it could have been much worse had the bomb exploded just an hour earlier.
• YOU be the one that sprinkles the day with joy – JOY is contagious, laughter is contagious – USE them every single day!
• YOU be the one that is authentic when everyone is simply blending in – Doing this will give others courage to be authentic.   Trust me, you are amazing!
• YOU be the one to show the positive emotions – Hug daily, laugh a lot and enjoy every moment that you can! Down south, we hug lots and us southern gals don’t take offense to a perfect gentleman calling us Darhlin’ – A hug and smile are 2 of the most powerful things that anyone can do! It’s powerful – USE IT!
• YOU be the one to encourage others and to do so passionately – be passionate about encouraging others! It helps more than you may ever realize
• YOU be the one to appreciate and acknowledge – A simple thank you is a positive force that carries such an impact!  Thank you for your time, thank you for caring, thank you for thinking of me, thank you for giving, thank you for doing, thank you for going….. Thank you is powerful!
• YOU be the one to boldly lead the way and be the good that everyone is looking for – Let it start with you.  Don’t worry about who is doing what – YOU be the leader you wish others were!

What are your thoughts as to what the everyday ordinary individual that is wondering “what in the world” can do right now to be the good they want to see and that everyone is looking for?

When people are asking what in the world is going on with society what do you tell them?  Do you encourage them? Do you blend in with the gloom?

My challenge to YOU - - Stand out, be different – be the good!

Have fun Spreading JOY!

Heart for Others

Heart for Others

Spreading Joy Corporation was founded on the fact that everyone has a desire to give more, do more and make an impact with their lives.  We all have a Heart for Others.

We all want to make a difference, but many feel that they can’t due to lack of resources.

We go to groups of all kinds to help remind them that YES – yes you can impact this world for good, starting with your own corner of the world.

Heart for Others Day is a fundraiser to help enable us to do more of this during 2013.  We want to be able to meet with any group that asks without having them worry about financing.  We want those that are the most discouraged and often forgotten about to realize that yes, they are cared about and someone will come and help them see the resources that they have to make their life count.  We want to show our heart for others, so that those can confidently go and show their heart for others.

We also know that finances are tight for so many right now and that giving all over this world is down.  We aren’t asking for much…..a simple $5 from anyone who sees this will be HUGE.

This fundraiser will easily be seen by over 4000 people over the next few weeks and if each of those that see this will simply give $5 our goal will be met.

Trouble is, not everyone will due to guilt, difficulties and a host of other reasons.  On the other hand, there are those that can give more than $5 and we truly hope you will do so.

Will you JOYn us on Heart for Others day on February 14^th by making a donation of any size?  Will you set a reminder in your calendar? Mail your gift in? PLAN on being part of our Heart for Others Day?

Let me remind you of a few things about your gift:

• There are ZERO paid employees in our Non Profit – Z E R O. So your funds will be use for others
• My family makes monthly donations as well, to help cover the day to day expenses – again, so that YOUR gifts can be used for OTHERS
• We aren’t here to get rich or get noticed, but we are here to help others feel rich enough to impact their corner of the world and your gift goes toward giving away our book, going into schools and other places to help encourage people face to face.
• We are very public about what we do, so any events will always be followed up by photos, updates and links as often as we can.  We want you to know beyond doubt how you are making a difference for others.

Please use all of your networking sites to re post this article – be a voice for us and share your heart for others by doing so

Please plan on making a donation of any size on Feb 14 and SHOW your heart for others (mail in or use the handy PayPal button over on the right sidebar)

Please email a link to this page to everyone in your address book, asking them to show their heart for others

Please, if you are a person of prayer, pray over our organization for direction, wisdom and more opportunities to encourage others in their journey. 

Thank you for how you are spreading joy with us!

Any gift of $25 or more will automatically receive our book Spreading Joy Daily.  If you already have it or know it would encourage someone and would like it sent somewhere else, please let me know by placing their name and address in the NOTE section of your donation when you give via paypal. 

You can mail your gift to:

Spreading Joy Corporation

PO Box 1771

Denver NC 28037

Thank you for having a heart for others!

Let’s harness the power of our voices!

Let’s harness the power of technology!

Let’s harness the power of teamwork!

Let’s all come together to see something remarkable happen, right before our very eyes.

Will you JOYn us?

Will you be a giant and use your voice?

Will you spread the word and try and round up others to do the same?

Letting Go

Letting go is one of the most difficult things ever.  You know I’m telling the truth here! It doesn’t matter what “it” is, it is hard to let go.

Letting go means you place 100% trust in whomever you are letting things go to.  It means that you have confidence in that person to handle things better than you would handle them yourself. 

You relinquish all control and you step away, trusting.

Letting go signifies great faith.

We have so much to let go of don’t we? I’ll list just a few that quickly come to mind:

• Emotional baggage from the past
• Fear of failure for the future
• Fear of success
• Choices we’ve made and the outcome that is sure to follow
• Our children and their choices
• Our health, appearance and physical features
• Our finances, or lack thereof
• Our dreams, desires and opportunities that await us
• Our fear of the unknown – the what if’s, why’s and what was I thinking
• Our yesterday, so we may enjoy today, while looking towards tomorrow

Many think that letting go is a sign of weakness, but in all actuality, it displays great strength and faith.

I want that kind of faith.

I want to easily let go and let God.

As a Christian we are “letting go” of those things to the Lord.  Our Savior! Our heavenly Father! The Kind of Kings, Lord of Lords and name like no other.

We aren’t just letting go to some other person that just halfheartedly cares about us – NO, we are letting go to the ONE who gave HIS Son for us as a sacrifice.  We are letting go to the ONE that cares for our desires, hopes and dreams like no other.  

We are letting go to the one who created us and then planned that everything would work out for us as He planned.  We are letting go to the ONE who overcame death, hell and has endured anything we could ever endure.

I pray that you’ll confidently let go of whatever it is that weighs you down, knowing that the One you are trusting your eternity to is the ONE you are letting go of your problems, hopes, dreams and fears to.

Let go and Let God!

What do you need to hand over to God?  Many people see this site daily and I’m sure they would be encouraged to see that they “are not alone” in handing over a few things.

Encourage someone in the comments below.

(I’ll start out by leaving mine here)

This comes from a dream that I recently had.  In the dream our family is struggling with all that we are currently struggling with. I felt extremely small and overwhelmed at the things we faced. The dream was very chaotic and fear ruled my heart.  (I won’t bore you with the gory details, but my daughter’s health, the finances that have hit us due to this, my son spending his first summer so far away – completely in God’s will, but still painful as I miss him much more than anyone could ever imagine and several other things)

I was walking and praying as I so often do and somehow ended up on a bridge.  I have a horrid fear of heights and this was really, really high.  Immediately my fear kicks in and I’m frozen.  I can’t think and can barely breathe when the bridge starts to crumble.  It’s foggy and I can’t see below.  I’m hanging on for my life and I hear, clearly, God saying… “trust me, let go”

I’d love to say that immediately, I just let go, but I can’t.

I did what most of us do and cried out in fear and anguish, “but Lord, I’m scared just get me off here” He again, said…”trust me, let go.”

At that point, with tears flowing, my heart was thinking ok, it seems I don’t have a choice, but I woke up before I let go, so I don’t actually know if I truly trusted God enough to let go.

When I woke up, I had been crying in my sleep….that is just how fearful I had been.

So, today…right here, right now… as best as I know how, I’m letting it all go to Him.

My family – I prayed for a Christian family, HE gave me one…they belong to Him.  Lord, just keep using us for YOU.

My finances – with more appointments, specialists, surgery and such looming, there is no way we can ever afford any of it without the Lord. (When the dr. left the room, the first question Megan asked was….Mom, can we afford this? I told her it is a non-issue, that God will provide.)  It belongs to Him.

My dream of a larger home – we’ve lived in a tiny 1100 sq ft home since Megan was born. If I get a bigger home, I get one.  If not, I’ll enjoy my mansion in Heaven one day.

Spreading Joy & Helping Others - God allowed me to start this and HE will have to fund it.  I won’t borrow money to help people.  If we help others, it’s because God will put it on the hearts of others to partner with us.  We will do what we can with what we have. It’s His.

I’m going to just trust Him.  It’s all I can do.  It’s all HIS.  I’m letting go.

{{hugs}}

 there may be additional comments at our main site - http://spreading-joy.org  

Never Let Go – David Crowder  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx5Y9DhoLJQ

Never Once - Matt Redman  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e02UNZRsdSQ

Overcome – Jeremy Camp http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERMzo0npg_g

John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

1 John 5:4
For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.

1 John 5:5
Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?

Psalms 55:22 Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I Remember

I remember the excitement of Christmas and thinking it would never get here (Wait..that was JUST last week *grins*)

I remember Thanksgiving trips to the mountains to see my Grandmother and other family members

I remember the many, many games of kill the man with the ball

I remember playing dodgeball in our street till way past we were supposed to

I remember walking to school and enjoying it

I remember my favorite doll being my Baby-That-Away and I carried her everywhere, until my Dad sat on her accidentially

I remember playing freeze tag

I remember always being the pitcher for the softball games and my brothers aiming at me when they were at bat

I remember a bus that came by on Sundays to take us to Church

I remember getting up and making Mom's coffee early for her for a while

I remember sleeping with the window open as we had no air conditioning

I remember walking in the snow, always

I remember walking down the railroad tracks with Mom & Angie - but when we got to the bridge, I'd go down the hill, across the road and back up again.

I remember riding our bikes everywhere, even 4 to 8 miles away to the grocery store

I remember only having enough for "today" and being the happiest ever

I remember walking home in the rain from the grocery store and stomping through the puddles

I remember thumping Mom in the head and her chasing me down, sitting on me, thumping me back and NOT getting up when the cable dude came in to install our new "gift"

I remember getting up in the mornings and running to the heater to get ready as only one room had heat

I remember my first kiss, and then later.... I remember wishing I had not wasted it on someone who truly didn't care

I remember burning up our toaster oven and feeling horrible as a teen because we had nothing else to cook with....nothing

I remember playing card games with Mom until 2 or 3 am and singing most of the time. The torture she endured while we had fun

I remember going to sleep anticipating Christmas and dreaming of wrapped presents all around me

I remember not having much by way of "things" but always feeling more loved than I could describe

I remember the few wonderful trips to the beach, Dad taking me WAY out, but I wasn't afraid as he was a giant in my eyes. I remember him lifting me high above the water and giggling with delight

I remember the crab that got out of the coffee pot at the beach house and chased me out of the bathroom

I remember popping HUGE bags of popcorn and the popcorn fights

I remember chasing down the boys that picked on the girl that lived behind us

I remember being afraid of the "monster" under the bed, but not the bully down the road

I remember loving to sit in the library at school and reading, holding a rag doll that was always in the rocking chair

I remember never being picked for any team in school until last

I remember loving the balance beam

I remember keeping to myself in school with one or two close friends, and I often wonder where one from elementary school is

I remember loving each of my elementary teachers dearly - even the 4th grade teachers assistant that was always so mean to me and wouldn't help me OR allow me to call her MOM in class. She totally made me work for those A's

I remember being a safety patrol in school and loving helping the smaller kids

I remember watching scary movies with my mom till the wee hours of the morning

I remember hardly ever spending the night away from home

I remember wishing I could give my mom everything she needed...not realizing that loving her unconditionally was enough

I remember going to the Christmas Tree lot and picking the biggest tree they had. I remember Daddy always saying yes, even though it had to be cut way down

I remember so many things!

Some good, some bad and some worse - but more than anything, I remember always being loved....no matter what.

All these things, good and bad, have shaped my heart into what it is today.

and for THAT - I'm truly thankful.



What are some of the things you remember?

Think AGAIN

Think you’re too small to make a difference? Think again!

Put a tiny rock in your shoe and walk a mile

Give a simple sucker to a toddler & watch their world light up

Try ignoring that fly buzzing about your meal

Leave that piece of dust under your contact

Smile widely...with a tiny piece of black pepper stuck to your tooth

Watch what ants will do with your slice of pie

Remember the grain of sand that became a gorgeous pearl

Think about the one smooth stone that took out a giant

Notice how one spark can consume and entire forest

One flicker of light pierces the darkest night

1 person "going" for it, gives courage to the fearful

A reassuring smile brings hope

Gaze at the GIANT oak that was once a tiny seed

One single tear can soften the hardest heart

The difference of one second.... that allowed you to miss that accident or plane crash

Ignore that nail in your tire

Leave that splinter in your finger

These are just a few that I quickly jotted down. I'd love to hear YOURS! If you are on twitter, please do leave your @ name as well!

http://www.spreading-joy.org

Ash Wednesday

Many people have already decided what they will be giving up for Ash Wednesday. I'd like to challenge you to look at things from a different approach.

I was chatting with Father Miles of St. Luke's Episcopal Church over coffee a few weeks ago, discussing ways that Spreading Joy could encourage his church. We were discussing the difficulties that we all face, the clouds that tend to hang over us, causing us to just see only the negative things that are surrounding us. He then had the idea that for Ash Wednesday, he would challenge his people to do something a little different this year. Instead of giving up coffee, Reese Cups, fast food or other things of that nature, that he would get them to focus on giving up negativity and replace it with JOY!

I love the idea, but as one that is always looking past the negativity and searching for joy on purpose, I know how difficult this can be. (Wait...am I being negative right there? uggghhh!!)

Replacing the negative, discouraging and depressing thoughts and actions with positive will certainly help anyone who decides to do so. When you are on purpose looking for the millions of little blessings that are swirling about you at any given time, you will be a much happier, positive person. Everyone will see a noticeable difference and want to know the source of your JOY!

Not wanting anyone to fail, I suggest that you replace, replace - replace. If you are trying to get rid of one thing, it is always easier to do so when you replace it with something better. Tell me, what is better than true joy from deep within? We can't always change the circumstances that brings the black cloud of despair over us and try to keep us down, but we can make a choice about staying "in" the negativity or moving past it.

I was speaking with a co-worker about Lent and giving up things for these 40 days today. She said that she will fast from something that will move her closer to God, such as gossip. She doesn't think that giving up coffee or Reese Cups would be wrong, but for her, personally - she wanted something that would help her to build her relationship with the Lord.

What are you giving up? Will you join others in giving up negativity and replace it with JOY, happiness, contentment and pure delight? Do you think this will be easy to do? Why or why not? If you fall short one day, will you keep going or will you simply give up?

I pray your cup overflows with unspeakable joy for these next 40 days and beyond!

{{{HUGS}}}} yall

PS

I'll have the honor of speaking and encouraging the members at St. Luke's on Sunday 3/14. I hope you'll click the link and check out this gorgeous Church.

Six Months

I didn't know it at the time but on February 20th, 2003 - I would hear news that would forever change my life. It was an honor actually, but when I was hearing it, I felt it was anything but an honor.

I was with my Dad at the hospital when the cardiologist came in to see him that morning. I knew my time with my Dad was limited, but what I was about to hear pierced through my heart like a dagger.

"John, if there is anything you want to do, do it now." I looked at the doctor and simply uttered "excuse me?"

The doctor went on to explain that my Dad's heart was only functioning at 13% or so and that it would not last more than 6 months at the very most. He told my Dad to do what he wanted to do, have what he wanted to have and take this time to get things in order. My body was numb, my heart was in shock. I remember wanting to cry out that 35 years is not enough time to spend with him. I had leaned up against the wall, to steady myself and the doctor asked me to step outside. He informed me that with my Dad's diabetes, that the sore on his foot would not heal and would contribute to his death as well - painfully so. He assured me that when the time come, he would call hospice in and make "it" as painless as possible. My heart agonized over the fact that I would not be able to stop this, that I would not be able to stop the pain and I would have to spend each and every moment with him that I could.

The doctor asked me if I was OK, and I simply nodded. We went back inside the room and he informed us that he'd be in there another day. The doctor left, I sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what was running through my Dad's heart. As I sat there, numb, my Dad spoke...asking me "Well, Daughter.....what do you think?" I immediately looked at him, eyeball to eyeball. Here I was wondering about him...and HE was wondering about me. Unbelievable. I kept looking at him and said "I think I'm going to miss you soooooo much." I sat quietly on the bed with him for a little bit. Gently crying because I didn't want to upset him to much, but there was no way I could hold in the tears.

Again, at the time, I didn't consider being with him to receive that kind of news an honor, but now I know beyond doubt that it was a priceless gift that I would not trade for the world.

Not everyone gets a six month warning to get their affairs straight, do what they want to do, see whom they want to see and so on. But he almost did. I had the difficult task to start making the calls. To tell my sister and brothers and step mom what I had just found out. I wanted anyone that wanted to see him, hug him and tell him just how special he was to have the chance to do so and time was of the essence.

As Dad got weaker, I moved in to help take care of him. I organized my work schedule to where I would work in the late afternoons or at night and help Angie take care of him during the day. I slept when he did and enjoyed many midnight egg sandwiches with him. It never bothered me that he could only eat a bite of the sandwich.

You may wonder why I'm sharing this with you. My Dad didn't get the full six months. He died on July 20th, 2003. We made sure that he laughed every chance he could and sometimes he simply laughed because he caught me and Angie "discussing things" between "ourselves" and we had NO clue he was awake. We made sure that anyone that wanted to see him had the chance and we all had time with him to tell him just how much he meant to us. I asked several times if there was anything he wanted and no matter what it was, I'd make sure he had it. Even though he was at the point nothing much would stay down when it came to food.

If you found out that you only had six months, what would you do? Who would you see? What calls would you make?

My next question is WHY would you wait until you only have six months? Start doing what you want to do. You have life dreams! Start on them. No matter how slowly you think you may be accomplishing them, start on them NOW. One of my dreams is to visit all 50 states. When we look at vacations, we look at a state we have not been to. Make the list and start chipping away at it. One of my dreams is to publish a book. In all of the spare time that I do not have, I'm slooooooowly chipping away at it. Work on those dreams NOW.

Schedule a visit with those that you have not seen and make those calls. We live in a period where it's easier now than ever to keep up with people we adore. Send the email, send the ecard or send the paper card. Tell those that are special to you just how special they are. Don't wait until you find out that you don't have much time left.

Do it now.

Six months is not long. Before we know it Christmas will be here again and it's only February.

Work towards your dreams
Plan the visit
Make the call
Give the hugs freely

Say I love you. Say it again. Say it once more.

Do it now, don't wait.

Tell me, what are some of your dreams you are working on.

Did you make the phone call, plan the visit or give the extra hugs? I hope so, I truly do!

{{{{HUGS}}}} yall

Photo: June 11, 2003 one of the last few photos of me and my dad

WHY

Why do we want what we cannot have

Why do we reach for what we can't possibly get

Why do our hearts take us where our head knows we shouldn't go

Why do we run towards trouble

Why do we have to be prodded to do right

Why is "IT" never enough

Why does the darkness bring pain

Why does yesterday seem to be forever ago

Why does tomorrow never come

Why does opportunity only knock once

Why does a grain of a mustard seed seem so HUGE

Why does today slip away unnoticed

Why does the sun not warm through the bitter cold

Why does "IT" matter to them

Why do we care what "they" think

Why do we feel like 100% is not as good as 120%

Why do we see the good in others before we see the great in ourselves

Why does it matter anyway

Why......

How I See YOU

I love speaking to ladies groups, kids and just encouraging others. I’m hoping to do more of it in this next year.

I recently had the privilege of speaking to some wonderful ladies that have been or are in a local Battered Women’s shelter. I spent the week thinking about some of what they may have endured, what they probably tried to do for them, their children and to bring peace to their home and focused on how those events made me see them.

Here is how I see these ladies.

YOU ARE:

BEAUTIFUL – Your beauty comes from deep within. Nothing or no one can ever destroy it. When you gaze into the mirror, look past the surface, go deeper….deeper still. That beauty that is deep within you is ready to bubble up and gush out! Let it bubble up and out freely. Our physical beauty is limited, but the beauty that is deep within our soul outshines and out lasts the physical and has a positive effect on all of those around us! YOU are beautiful!

COURAGEOUS – Yes, YOU! You lived in fear, you live with fear and have many fearful moments ahead of you, but look back with me a moment. Look at how far you’ve come. The courage you’ve shown to get out of the abusive situation and into something better is nothing short of amazing. You’ll continue to move past the fears, move past the doubts and other horrors you face daily that will try and hold you back. Your heart may tremble, your hands shake but you won’t let that stop you. You can do this as YOU are courageous!

STRONG – You are strong! You’ve endured abuse that others can’t possibly imagine, and that takes strength. You’ve tried to fix things, make things better and be the right kind of gal but that was never the issue. You then stepped out, with children in tow and are working towards a better future. The strength it takes to be a single mom, to ease their fears, to show them what is right and good is unbelievable. You are strong, you fight through difficulties, you fight to survive and you’ll push past the barriers that try and hold you down. You will make it! YOU are strong!

WISE – Yes, I said wise! Don’t sell yourself short. We all make mistakes, we all make decisions that we wish we could take back and moments we wish we could order up a “do-over”! Look at you! You are moving forward, learning and making things better. You are doing the right things right now! Don’t look back at the mistakes, unless you are choosing to grow and learn from them! Hear me….YOU are wise.

CARING – You have amazing hearts! You care so much. That’s why you tried to work things out, why you sacrifice for your children, that’s why you are the wonderful person that you are. Your heart is huge for others and you want to make a difference and believe me you DO! YOU are caring!

PERSISTENT – You put one foot in front of the other each and every day. I’m sure there are days where you feel like throwing up your hands and saying “what is the use”, but you move forward anyway. You grow tired from the struggle, but you get out of bed and face the day. You wonder about tomorrow, next month and next year, but you keep looking, hoping and knowing that the future is there, waiting on you to grab it up with both arms, embracing all the wonderful things that are waiting you. You keep trying, learning and going! You push yourselves as well as push your children! YOU are persistent.

IMPORTANT – YES – YOU!!! You make a difference every day! You bring smiles, warm hearts with big hugs. You encourage, motivate and teach. You give hope to little eyes that wonder about a million things a day and love to hearts that need it. You are important to today and the next generation. The great things that you are doing today, will have a huge impact on tomorrow and the future. YOU are important.

CAPABLE – YOU can do this! It is so easy to look and see the negative, see where we feel like we have failed and think we just can’t do it. We don’t have to teach our children to see the negative, but we do have to teach them to see the positive, do what is right and look for opportunities to make a difference. Use those negative things that creep into your mind, trying to make you feel horrible to remind yourself that you’ve learned from that. You’ve come a long way from that point and you are not going back, simply because you don’t have to. Use the past to remind yourself that you are capable of moving forward, doing whatever it is you set your mind on doing. YOU are capable.

ADAPTIVE – This is so important and you excel at it! Think with me for a moment. You knew when you had to keep the kids quiet, when you could let loose and enjoy the laughter in your hearts. You knew when “he” was home that certain things had to be done a certain way and you adapted. When he wasn’t around, you lived, loved, laughed and adapted to that as well. This is a priceless ability for when the storms of life are raining down on you. This ability will serve you for years to come as you face the mountains in your way and your initial thought is for the mountain to “swallow me up, I can’t face you.” You will adapt time and time again! YOU are adaptive.

SENSITIVE – Your hearts are tender and it grows stronger every day. You’ve seen situations that many have not had to see, much less endure. This has made you even more sensitive than most. You can see the sadness in the eyes of a child quicker than most and know how to turn that frown upside down. You can see the loneliness oozing from the hearts of others and know that a simple hug and smile will help to ease that pain. Because of this sensitivity, you have an opportunity to make dark days brighter; you have the chance to be the light at the end of the tunnel. You can shine brighter than you ever thought possible. YOU are sensitive.

SPECTACULAR – YOU are beyond awesome! You have a huge heart, a loving spirit and the willingness to fight through whatever comes your way. You don’t ask for much, yet are willing to give all for your child. You will take lesser portions, step in front of physical harm and remind your child that tenderness will get you further than being demanding and hateful. You amaze me at the courage, strength and abilities you have to make it through each day. YOU are spectacular.

These attributes are evident in all of us if we look deep enough. We tend to stop just short of the surface because that is what society is teaching us to do. We need to look past the surface. We need to look at the things that matter, which is far more than physical features.

It is my desire that as you step into a new year that you’ll be more aware of these wonderful qualities about you. I hope that you’ll focus on the positive and grow from the negative. As you look at yourself, I hope that you’ll see all of these wonderful things in a wonderful new light this year – and always.

{{HUGS}} yall