April 3rd 2012 is a mixed emotion kind of day.
I wish I had friends in high places that could fly in, pick me up and take me to Arkansas to see my son for his 21st birthday.
It is the first birthday that I’ve ever NOT seen him. I knew that not seeing him for “a birthday” would come eventually, but really…are we mom’s ever actually ready for that?
So in honor of him, I’ve decided to waltz down memory lane. You don’t mind do you? Hmm?
I’m a random gal, so these memories are completely random.
- Megan asking how to spell “apple” and your 5 year old self confidentially answered “s-n-o-t”
- The toddler, little boy that always held my hand while he slept
- The 2nd grade protector of the Princess Kristen. You walked behind her as she climbed stairs so if she stumbled, you would be there for her. I loved you for that more than you could possibly know.
- Trying to figure out what orange chips and broken jeans were. I have always loved your literal mind
- Your favorite outfit. Cowboy boots and shorts. Nothing more.
- Yoohoo was the drink of choice
- Power Rangers and Street Sharks were neck and neck with Richard Scary’s busy town.
- How you loved and adored “the baby” before she was born. You wanted a little brother, but always treasured the gift of a sister. I loved how you played with her and talked to her before birth.
- You driving off with just Megan the day you got your license. I cried tears of joy and was a tiny bit fearful. So grown up, yet still my baby.
- Not being able to get the lawn mower to start and you matter of factly reminding me to “do what we always do…Pray about it” at the young age of 5 years old. Child like faith…amazes me.
- Watching you sleep and thinking just how proud of you I am. I don’t think I’ll ever outgrow watching you sleep. Ever.
- I remember the Christmas you were horribly sick. I had a double ear infection and you had some flu bug. You threw up for hours. You were worried Santa wouldn’t come with your one special gift if you didn’t sleep. “he showed” but then you cried after you were sick all over all your new toys. You finally slept and were so thrilled to find them perfectly fine when you woke.
- I remember how big and grown up you looked as you were walking into kindergarten. You were a head taller than all the rest of the kids. You being a head taller than most served me again as I searched for you in the sea of green caps and gowns on your graduation day.
- Always shooting hoops with you, tossing the football and being able to hit each of your fast balls. Well, except the one that got out of control. I hit it, but not with the bat. I used my arm to deflect it from my face and you thought you had broken my arm.
- I remember the Mom and Todd dates, where we talked about you, your hopes, dreams and things going on your day to day world. We also discussed just how to treat your future girl friend and the gentleman that you could become.
- Establishing honest communication with you at a very young age. It has always been something that I treasure, knowing that YOU know that you have the freedom to ask me anything.
- How your training wheels had long stopped touching the ground before you’d let us take them off. They were so bent that they truly didn’t work, but you needed the security more than the wheels.
- The older you got, the less you liked to read. But I do treasure the years that we were able to read all kinds of books together. Especially your favorite – All Because a little bug went Kachoo.
- Singing at the top of our lungs as we rode along in the car and laughing when someone would mess up the words to the song. OR singing them wrong on purpose! Especially when Megan would sing “wise Christmas” or “Winnie NUT Pooh”
- Sparring with you, having fun and then stepping into your very controlled punch. You were horrified as you thought you had hurt me badly. And yes, it did hurt pretty badly.
- The courage you showed as a 10 year old boy, sparring with the older adults. Your height moved you out of the kids class and into the adults. Even though they were stronger, smarter and older…you always made them earn their wins. Always. And you even won several yourself.
I could list a million memories here. Probably a zillion. More than anything I want you to know how very proud of you I am. You were absolutely the best surprise ever. From the moment I found out I was expecting you, I promised God if He would use you, that I’d do everything I could do to point you to Him.
I love you son. I hate that we are apart on this special milestone in your life, but know that you are right in the center of God’s will…and that…makes me happy.
I’ll hug you soon.