What in the World

After this week’s bombing attack in Boston, I’m hearing a lot of questions like:

• What is this world coming to?
• What in the world does it take to get someone to this kind of place?
• Why would someone feel that this is the only thing they can do to get their point across?

And many others….

I have to say that I truly don’t know what or why and I wonder if we will ever actually know the real truth behind what has happened to provoke the Boston attack.

I know that we can’t change the past, we can’t undo the harm, fear and terror that so many had to endure and we can’t bring back the lives that were lost…. but I ALSO KNOW that we (those of us who wonder why, what etc) can stand apart from this type of violence and shine brighter than the shadow that this has cast on us.  We can be beacon of good during this dark time in the USA.  We can pierce the darkness and gloom by being what we want this world to be.

The truthful answer to the question “what is this world coming to” is that it is becoming what I am becoming, and what YOU are becoming.

If we want things to be better and a ensure better world for our children then we need to be mindful of what WE as individuals (and our family) are doing and take the extra steps to be force for good in this world!

Just for starters – here are immediate things we can do to pierce the darkness with a ray of JOY and sunshine that will be contagious!

• YOU be the good that you are desperately looking for – don’t wait for others to do it – you start right now! Take Action!
• YOU be the example that you want your family to follow – don’t assume that someone else in your family will be the matriarch
• YOU be the one to help others without expecting a single thing in return – people are always willing to help, usually as long as there is something in it for them. Don’t be this way – stand apart from the crowd
• YOU be the one to seek the positive and good in the negative situations – it’s there, it is usually covered up.  I was so thrilled to see reporters trying to find the positive when they were reporting this tragedy.  Yes, it’s a tragedy but like one reporter said, it could have been much worse had the bomb exploded just an hour earlier.
• YOU be the one that sprinkles the day with joy – JOY is contagious, laughter is contagious – USE them every single day!
• YOU be the one that is authentic when everyone is simply blending in – Doing this will give others courage to be authentic.   Trust me, you are amazing!
• YOU be the one to show the positive emotions – Hug daily, laugh a lot and enjoy every moment that you can! Down south, we hug lots and us southern gals don’t take offense to a perfect gentleman calling us Darhlin’ – A hug and smile are 2 of the most powerful things that anyone can do! It’s powerful – USE IT!
• YOU be the one to encourage others and to do so passionately – be passionate about encouraging others! It helps more than you may ever realize
• YOU be the one to appreciate and acknowledge – A simple thank you is a positive force that carries such an impact!  Thank you for your time, thank you for caring, thank you for thinking of me, thank you for giving, thank you for doing, thank you for going….. Thank you is powerful!
• YOU be the one to boldly lead the way and be the good that everyone is looking for – Let it start with you.  Don’t worry about who is doing what – YOU be the leader you wish others were!

What are your thoughts as to what the everyday ordinary individual that is wondering “what in the world” can do right now to be the good they want to see and that everyone is looking for?

When people are asking what in the world is going on with society what do you tell them?  Do you encourage them? Do you blend in with the gloom?

My challenge to YOU - - Stand out, be different – be the good!

Have fun Spreading JOY!

Facing the Impossible

Immediately upon hearing her words, tears welled up in my eyes and frustration and anger burned within my heart.

I miss the next part of the conversation because I’m looking up to the sky asking God…”really??? you WERE supposed to reveal to the doctors what is going on and you don’t? really??”

She stops speaking.  She said, Ms. Wikle did you hear me? Megan’s CT Scan was normal except for a small twist in her intestines.

I told her I understood her, but didn’t understand what could be causing all of this.

It’s a process she said.

I shake my head and by now, tears are streaming down my cheeks.  

My heart hurts for my daughter.  She has endured so much and is just now 18.  This last year alone has been filled with test after test only to hear "everything is normal." First her stomach was paralyzed and then 3 years later, something DIFFERENT is causing her food not to stay down but NO one knows what it is…. 

Really??

Frustrated I ask what next.  2 more test are ordered.  One of which was done almost exactly a year ago.

We are journaling what will stay down.  2 teaspoons of grits, 4 spoons of mashed potatoes.  4 oz of applesauce or yogurt, 1 spoon of scrambled eggs with the hopes that it can help them to see or think of what could be going on.

Really – is this the life she is destined to live?  

I don’t understand, I don’t know what God wants us to see.  My heart is filled with what Lord, what do you want?

After much prayer and saturating my heart with verse after verse, I realize I may never know, I realize thing may or may not change and she may never eat more than that. 

I know God is faithful and only God’s grace will get us through.

We are facing the impossible. 

For comfort, I search the scriptures for those who faced the impossible.

• Children of Israel – faced death by Pharaoh’s army or death in the Red Sea – impossible….but God stepped in and brought them safely to the other side of the sea.
• Esther and her entire race of people faced death and their fate was sealed by the King – impossible….but God stepped in and prepared the way for them to defend themselves.
• Elijah stood alone and faced hundreds of false prophets – impossible….but God was on his side and that was all he needed.
• Daniel faced hungry lions because of his faithfulness to pray – impossible….but God shut the lion’s mouths and gave Daniel the peace that only God can pour out.
• The 3 Hebrew Children were tossed into the fiery furnace that was so hot, the guy that opened the door was burned to death – impossible….but God walked in the fire WITH them.
• Sarah longed for a son and God had promised her and Abraham that their seed would exceed the grains of sand and stars in the sky and now she was past child bearing years – impossible….but God gave her a son and kept His promise
• Abraham was asked to make a sacrifice – of his one and only son – impossible….but God supplied a lamb upon seeing that Abraham was willing to offer up his son as the Lord had asked.

Impossible……

With God all things are possible:

Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me

Jeremiah 32:27 - Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?

Genesis 18:14 Is any thing too hard for the LORD?

How long will this continue? I don’t know.  

Will more tears fall? Yes – until she is healed, fixed or whatever needs to be done for her to consume a normal meal.

Do I trust God with her? yes…completely.  It’s all I got and thankfully it’s all I need.

Will I cry out in frustration, anger and ask why? Probably.  I’m a mom and we hate to see our children suffer.

I will continue to pray, to saturate our family in prayer and trust the Lord as HE can bring us through the impossible.

Will you pray with us? 

Will you trust God through the impossible with us?

I can only imagine the ministry that He has prepared for Megan as a young lady.  I pray daily that God will give her the strength to continue on this journey so that God can get all the glory.

I know God will use this and HER in a mighty way.

We will face the impossible….but we are not facing it alone.

Thank you Lord for the mercy and grace you pour out. I trust you with my family.  Strengthen our faith and love as we walk this journey together. in Jesus name I ask...amen.

For Today

Father,

For today, help your child that is struggling to feel deep peace and happiness even though their mind is filled with thoughts of uncertainty.

For today, bring unspeakable joy in the midst of the storm so that we are reminded that YOU, alone are God and are worthy to be praised.

For today help us to know you are there, holding and comforting us, walking beside us each step of the way, even though our hearts are fearful, worried and unsure.

For today, help us to know that what you have waiting is all that we truly need to get through this day.

Even though we can’t see the rainbow for the rain, for today - help us to trust you, your unfailing love, your never ending grace, mercy and desire for us to be blessed beyond measure.

For today, help us to know that you delight in our delight and that we can be completely free of pain and hurt while we trust you to direct us as you heal our broken hearts.

For today, help us to see what a beautiful soul we are and that our love is a gift to others.

Help us to see that for today and always YOU are all we need.

In Jesus Precious HOLY Name, Amen!

This is my prayer for you today and always!

HUGS wrapped in prayer

Whatever the Day May Bring

Whatever your day has brought you - PRAISE HIM!

If it brought you sun, praise HIM - If it brought you rain, praise HIM

If it brought you a bonus, praise HIM - If it brought you an unemployment check, praise HIM

If it brought you a new car, praise HIM - If it brought you news you need a new motor, praise HIM

If it brought you warm hugs and kisses, praise Him - If it brought you despair and grief, praise HIM

If it brought you a trip to your favorite place, praise HIM - If it brought you to the hospital or doctor office, Praise HIM

If it brought you gladness and smiles, praise HIM - If it brought you tears and sorrow, praise HIM

If it brought you peace and harmony, praise HIM - If it brought you uncertainty and fighting, praise HIM

If it brought you encouragement and direction, praise HIM - If it brought you discouragement and road blocks, praise HIM

If it brought you good news of promotion or healing, praise Him - If it brought you heartbreaking news or disease, praise HIM

If it brought you smiles and laughter, praise HIM - If it brought you anger and yelling, praise Him

Whatever this day has brought you, place your hope in the Lord and simply praise HIM

Psalm 9:2
I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High.

Psalm 34:1
I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

ABC's of Making A Difference

A – Aware – Be aware of your surroundings. Many people that you pass by are hurting and your bright smile will probably bring them peace, joy and hope.

B – Believe – Believe that no matter how small your gift or act of joy is that it matters and it makes a difference.

C – Cheerful – Your attitude is contagious, so make sure you are cheerful today!

D – Delight – Delight in the joy and success of others. There are so many negative things that we face each day which makes this gift is priceless

E – Encourage – This is the easiest way to make a difference. No special talent needed, anyone of any financial level or position can do this.

F – Find – FIND the resources that you have. Making a difference doesn’t have to break the bank. You’ve got what you need right where you are.

G – Goals – Set goals for making a difference. Decide that you’ll do one or two things a day. Choose to trade a coffee, manicure or lunch and donate those funds to a charity, like Spreading Joy.

H – Hear – Your family, friends and those you work with are speaking about their likes, dislikes and troubles. Hear what they are saying and act on it.

I – Ignore – Ignore those negative feelings that try to convince you that you are not making a difference. Every single act of JOY you do for someone is making a difference.

K – Kindness – Kindness matters to everyone. Sprinkle a little bit everywhere you go!

L – Laugh – Laughter is the best medicine. Find things to laugh about and share!

M – More – Do a little more today for others, than you did yesterday.

N – Notes – Send out note cards and letters telling someone – THANK you for making a difference in my life! Leave sticky notes of encouragement where your friends, family or co-workers can find them.

O – Outstanding – Tell someone what an outstanding job they’ve done. Your cashier, your bank teller, your husband/wife and child!

P – Passionate – Be passionate about what you do. The joy you feel will be undeniable and others will want to follow suit.

Q – Quality – Do your best, give your best and know that in doing so you’ll enhance the quality of your life.

R – Remember – Remember that you matter and you are unique….just like everyone else.

S – Speak – Say it today! Don’t wait. Speak your heart to those special people in your life.

T – Thanksgiving – Don’t just practice an attitude of gratitude during one month a year. Thanksgiving is something we should be doing each day.

U – Useful – Help someone. Don’t just hope that someone else will do it, YOU do it.

V – Valuable – What is valuable to you? Things, stuff or money? Try valuing respect, honor, truth and love more. Priceless gifts.

W – Whimsy – Add a little whimsy to your day and to those around you. The fun sprinkled through your day will widen the already existent smile!

X – Xcuse me? – Don’t tell me you can’t make a difference! Everyone can! Here are 50 ways to do so without spending a penny – AND – if that isn’t enough, here are ANOTHER 50 ways!

Y – Yourself – Fearlessly be YOURSELF. You are amazing and we need you to be you.

Z – Zany – Be a little zany, silly and carefree. Be positive and run the negativity out! Enjoy each moment and let your heart smile!



Spreading Joy and Making a difference is easy!

Talk to me....what do you think? Can you do this?

Here is a free PDF of this post!

Boldly Face Tomorrow

Trials WILL come; it’s just a matter of when.

Tears WILL fall; it’s just a matter of how long.

Your Heart will break; it’s just a matter of how many pieces.

I understand this isn’t spreading joy, but it IS truth.

We can boldly face another day with a little preparation; after all, it is just a matter of time before we face storms and trials.

I believe I can say for certain that each one of us will face the following things:



Uncertainty:

You don’t know what you’ll be facing. You don’t know what situations will arise that are beyond your control. You don’t know about job issues, medical bills and other things. You don’t know what you’ll be facing. Choose to focus on the facts, not the uncertainty. Look at the facts and allow that to help give you direction. Sometimes all it takes is looking at things from a different view point. Don’t allow your emotions to drive you. Emotions are a tricky beast and can have our minds full of fear and doubt. Even when facing uncertainty, choose to maintain a good attitude while fixing what you can and working around the rest.



Disappointment:

I wish that you didn’t have to face disappointments, but the truth is that you WILL face it. Prepare for it in advance by looking for the good in the disappointment. It’s an old saying, but still rings true today, look for the silver lining. It’s always easier to see the negative, but if we teach ourselves to see the positive, it will get easier to find through each disappointment. I’m not telling you to ignore your hardships, I’m simply instructing you to look beyond them at what treasure may be forming because of the hardship.

The positive things are there, you have to look for them!



Fear:

Fear will consume us. You’ll be so afraid to do anything, to make decisions or even just take the next step if you are not aware of just how consuming fear is. Set your fears aside and focus on the truth of what is going on. The truth is that YOU are strong and you will make it through this. The truth is that you have people that care about you and will help you through it. Focus on the truth! Find the resources that are available and see if those will lead to more resources. As things start to fall into place, you’ll notice the fears subsiding. Let me encourage you to step out into the unknown. When you do, you’ll feel the courage coursing through you and that will give you the ability to take the next step, and the next one and the next one.



Difficulties:

When you are facing difficulties, you don’t have to face them alone. There are people who have been where you are and they are willing to walk with you. There are people who have been where you are going, they will help you out!

When we face difficulties, we clam up and withdraw and then try and face them alone. This is the time that we need to reach out so that we don’t have to battle the depression alone. Find a friend to share your fears and difficulties with and divide the pain and in doing this, you will also double the joy you share.

When you are facing difficulties that lead to depression, may I suggest you pour yourself into “others.” Regardless of the finances, we can all make a difference for others and that act alone will help bring deep down joy that no one or nothing can steal from you.

Here are 50 Ways to make a difference without spending a penny. YOU can make a difference!



Sorrow:

Facing sorrow is not easy. When someone is struggling, spend time with them, chat with them until they laugh. It doesn’t take a special talent, lots of money or gifts galore. It only takes a willing heart. Be sensitive to others when sorrows arise. Don’t assume someone should be over the grief they are going through. Don’t assume someone shouldn’t be hurting “over that situation.” We all deal with grief, pain and sorrow differently. Be sensitive and kind to those facing sorrow. If you are in the midst of sorrow or grief, know that it’s ok. There is no right way to grieve. Sometimes writing out your feelings – the good, bad and ugly is a way of releasing them. Sometimes, it’s a matter of sharing them verbally or counseling. Some may even need medical help. Whatever your means of facing your sorrow, remember YOU have friends and family that will help you face them. Don’t withdraw and try to go it alone. That’s what WE are here for.

Regret:

This is the ONE thing we can choose NOT to face. Regret. Regret will break us. The guilt of regret will weigh our hearts down and beat us.

We all have made bad decisions.

We can learn from our bad choices, we can decide that yes… I did “that” but I will NOT allow myself to be in that situation again. Don’t let regret keep you from boldly making a change in your life. Don’t let guilt keep you down when you are capable of doing so much for you and your family. Don’t let regret win. You are strong enough to use it, learn from it and then beat it.

Think about this:

If we are living in the past and worried about the future, how can we be effective today?

It’s simple - - - We can’t. Choose NOT to regret. Put those past mistakes to good use by learning from them and sharing what you’ve learned with others.



Emptiness:

There are times that you’ll feel empty, alone and like you don’t matter. It’s going to happen, it is just a matter of when. When you face this, once again I have to insist that you go on fact instead of feelings. Feelings are so tricky and emotional roller coasters are not very fun.

Here are the facts:

• YOU Matter – Not only do you matter, but you matter a LOT. You are the world to someone!


• YOU Make a difference – in so many ways. You feel as though you do nothing special and you are nothing special, but THAT is what MAKES you special. No one can make a difference like YOU do. NO one!


• YOU will make if past this – and when you do, you’ll soar to new heights that you didn’t even know existed.

Use this time of empty feelings to focus on making a difference for others instead of dwelling on how you feel. It can be as little as giving your children their favorite cereal for dinner, coloring with them in their coloring books. It could be something like telling an older friend thank you for helping to shape our world into what it is today and taking some time to hear how they did it. It could be something like extending patience to the cashier that is experiencing one rude customer after another. Take your mind off of the emptiness that is flooding your heart and place your focus on those around you. You’ll soon find the emptiness filling up with amazing JOY.



Overwhelmed:

Even the calmest person I know will face times when they are overwhelmed. It’s at this point that you simply can’t afford to feel guilty for stopping and doing something for yourself.

STOP right here, pull yourself away from everything for a little bit. Go outside, stretch and take 5 minutes to soak up the outdoors. When you can, take an some additional time to just step away from all that is pulling at you.

If you have young children, it may need to be for 15-30 minutes after they’ve gone to bed, but STOP and do something for yourself.

It doesn’t have to be expensive, it just needs to be done and done without guilt.

Read

Write in your journal

Gaze out the window

Listen to the sound of the rain

Take a nap on the couch – set a timer so you don’t over sleep.

If you don’t pull yourself out of the situation for a little bit, it will only get worse.



How are you boldly facing tomorrow? What other tips would you share with others?



To Hear an audio version of this, please click below:

Useless

Everyone has a secret…

This makes my heart smile!

I love Post Secrets. Like the secrets we hide in our hearts, there are good ones, bad ones and everything in between. If you have never heard of Post Secrets, this site is a collection of post cards that people have mailed in, releasing their secrets. This site is updated with new secrets weekly. Many of them make me smile – as not all secrets are bad. Then there are those that make me think or wonder. But then you have some that just break your heart.

Tonight, one secret did just that, broke my heart.

Trust me - YOU matter!

When I read the secret above, I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around this person and whisper to their heart:

YOU are not useless…YOU matter

There are so many people that struggle with this. One thing I’ve noticed with nearly everyone of them is that they truly matter a lot. The trouble is that the people they are around are not the squishy hugs, you matter to me kind of emotional people. If they were, the person who sent in this secret and those that feel this way would know beyond a doubt that they truly do matter. Some people simply struggle with this just because their heart is fighting a battle that many of us can’t even begin to imagine.

What can we learn from this secret?

• The people we are around MATTER and need to know it! Tell them. Do not assume they know it.
• Everyone wants and needs to matter. We all do. We need to make a difference. Why else do little toddlers hand little yellow ”weeds” to us and we validate that?
• Many feel useless needlessly. It doesn’t cost us a single cent to hug someone important to us and tell them that they matter.
• Something so small, is actually HUGE in our lives. Amazing how far a little affirmation goes isn’t it?
• The negative things we hear stay with us far longer than the positive. Keep reinforcing the positive.
• The old rhyme we all said as a child is a lie – Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Words not only hurt us, but often times break us. Choose them wisely.
• Put it in writing! That card or letter letting someone know that they made a difference in you will likely be read and re-read time and time again.
• When you see someone or leave someone give those big squishy hugs! They matter too. Don’t be in a hurry to let go quickly. Enjoy the moment!
• When our hearts are screaming in pain, our minds simply do not remember the difference that we’ve made. Keep pictures or something that will jog our memory.
• If you make someone smile….at anytime EVER – you are NOT useless. Period! Times are tough, things are hard – smiles are priceless.
• Fearlessly be YOURSELF! We need you to be you – not who you think we want you to be. Y O U – because you are amazing!

There is so much more that can be said here.

I invite you to do a few things.

1. Look around. Have you told those that matter to you, that they matter?
2. Take stock in your own heart….do you KNOW that you matter and are NOT useless? YOU matter!
3. What would you tell someone that feels like they are useless. Please encourage others and share your thoughts in the comments below.

*whispering to your heart* You matter! YOU are making a difference!

Demonstrating the Love Of God

Pastor Michael Harrison of The Community Fellowship in Collinsville VA invited me to come and see what was happening in their community for Back2School 2011. I was honored with the invitation and decided to make the trip to see what was going on in his corner of the world. What I saw and experienced was nothing short of amazing.

The entire event was very well laid out, from beginning to end. People came at their designated times, signed in and went to the story area. They were told about Christ and about washing feet/serving and how we show love for each other by serving and helping. The next station was where all the children received free haircuts if they choose to. People from his church, community and others that wanted to help make the day special volunteered to cut hair. Even though it meant standing much of the day, these volunteers were very professional, giving these children great cuts to start their school year off with.

Then the children moved on to received their new shoes and a pair of socks. I had the honor of working in this area. There were about 25 chairs set up for the kids to sit in and we (the workers) sat on the floor in front of them. We removed their shoes, sock and told our runner what size we needed. As we washed their feet, we chatted about what they wanted to be when they grew up and anything else that came up. 3 of the children that I served were enjoying their birthday that day.

I'd LOOOOVE to have a pair of these!!

The best part was when the new shoes came out and their eyes would light up. From girly pink converse, to sky blue and then the one’s that had hope, JOY and love on them. Some of the shoes lit up, some had Speed Racer and the Mach 5 on them, but ALL of them brought mile wide smiles from the kids as well as the parents and grandparents. I was blessed to be able to pray with each and every child that I served. Talk about an honor. Several of the children gave me the biggest hugs and thanked me before leaving. I smiled and said you are welcome and invited them to come and be part of this awesome church, knowing I was just a visitor for a day and that the thanks belonged to a church with a huge heart for others.

They left that area and went on to receive 5 articles of clothes. This clothing area was nothing like I’ve ever seen. They looked neatly pressed. I had the chance to speak with Nancy, who heads up the clothing closet and she told me that 25 precious ladies help keep it neat and in order by volunteering their time each week.

Once the kids received their clothes, they were then able to receive their brand new backpack filled with various school supplies.

I pretty much stayed in the one area from 9:45 am to 5:30pm. My husband worked in various places through the day. They started at 8am and I have no clue when the cleanup ended so that services could take place on Sunday morning.

Washing Feet

I can’t imagine the work that was put into this event through the entire year and invite Pastor Harrison to share in the comments below anything his heart desires.

The ladies I worked alongside of were simply wonderful! Everyone was super nice and had no idea I was from so far away, not that that mattered, as we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.

I felt at home there, serving with them and look forward to going back next year and even helping where we can before then.

It’s my honor to support them financially, to be a voice for them and to do what I can to help.

I went there to spread some joy and be a blessing to Pastor Harrison as well as to see how they are making a difference in their community so that maybe one day, my community can reach out to others in the same fashion. I received a wealth of information on making a huge event like this happen as well as back2school supplies for my own upcoming event. Unbelievable!

If you are in the area, I invite you to check them out. If you are on twitter, I invite you to follow @michaelharrison and his church @the_community.

Thank you Pastor Harrison for the invitation and the opportunity to serve your community!

Please visit the following

The Community Fellowship – church link

Pastor Harrison’s Blog

Information on the Dream Center in Collinsville VA

Here is a link to Pastor Harrison’s Summary – in short 938 students came to the event and when you include adults over 2,000 people showed up. Over 400 haircuts were given, and over 230 volunteers helped to ensure this event was the best it could be.

Amazing. Completely Amazing.

Precious Things

Where is the peace that passes all understanding
And the joy unspeakable hiding?

Where is the hope that never ends
And the sparkling hearts residing?

Where is the security of tomorrow
Because it’s almost a brand new day?

Where is the unconditional love
That moves into my heart to stay?

Where are these precious wonderful things
That are near and dear to my heart?

Have circumstances clouded my eyes
To have it appear these things are not apart?

Push the clouds away, let the light shine
And the warm fill our soul with smiles.

There are more than enough of these great things
To carry us through every mile.

What do you think?

Do you miss precious things because circumstances cloud your view?

Tell me your thoughts below.

{{HUGS}} yall

Think AGAIN

Think you’re too small to make a difference? Think again!

Put a tiny rock in your shoe and walk a mile

Give a simple sucker to a toddler & watch their world light up

Try ignoring that fly buzzing about your meal

Leave that piece of dust under your contact

Smile widely...with a tiny piece of black pepper stuck to your tooth

Watch what ants will do with your slice of pie

Remember the grain of sand that became a gorgeous pearl

Think about the one smooth stone that took out a giant

Notice how one spark can consume and entire forest

One flicker of light pierces the darkest night

1 person "going" for it, gives courage to the fearful

A reassuring smile brings hope

Gaze at the GIANT oak that was once a tiny seed

One single tear can soften the hardest heart

The difference of one second.... that allowed you to miss that accident or plane crash

Ignore that nail in your tire

Leave that splinter in your finger

These are just a few that I quickly jotted down. I'd love to hear YOURS! If you are on twitter, please do leave your @ name as well!

http://www.spreading-joy.org

Sometimes

I share this with you today because we all feel this way…..sometimes.

The question is, do we stay “here” or do we make the choice to move on – out from under these feelings?

I hope when you are “here” in this state that we all “sometimes” are in, that you’ll choose to move beyond this….regardless of how slow it may be.

Sometimes……

http://www.spreading-joy.org

Six Months

I didn't know it at the time but on February 20th, 2003 - I would hear news that would forever change my life. It was an honor actually, but when I was hearing it, I felt it was anything but an honor.

I was with my Dad at the hospital when the cardiologist came in to see him that morning. I knew my time with my Dad was limited, but what I was about to hear pierced through my heart like a dagger.

"John, if there is anything you want to do, do it now." I looked at the doctor and simply uttered "excuse me?"

The doctor went on to explain that my Dad's heart was only functioning at 13% or so and that it would not last more than 6 months at the very most. He told my Dad to do what he wanted to do, have what he wanted to have and take this time to get things in order. My body was numb, my heart was in shock. I remember wanting to cry out that 35 years is not enough time to spend with him. I had leaned up against the wall, to steady myself and the doctor asked me to step outside. He informed me that with my Dad's diabetes, that the sore on his foot would not heal and would contribute to his death as well - painfully so. He assured me that when the time come, he would call hospice in and make "it" as painless as possible. My heart agonized over the fact that I would not be able to stop this, that I would not be able to stop the pain and I would have to spend each and every moment with him that I could.

The doctor asked me if I was OK, and I simply nodded. We went back inside the room and he informed us that he'd be in there another day. The doctor left, I sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what was running through my Dad's heart. As I sat there, numb, my Dad spoke...asking me "Well, Daughter.....what do you think?" I immediately looked at him, eyeball to eyeball. Here I was wondering about him...and HE was wondering about me. Unbelievable. I kept looking at him and said "I think I'm going to miss you soooooo much." I sat quietly on the bed with him for a little bit. Gently crying because I didn't want to upset him to much, but there was no way I could hold in the tears.

Again, at the time, I didn't consider being with him to receive that kind of news an honor, but now I know beyond doubt that it was a priceless gift that I would not trade for the world.

Not everyone gets a six month warning to get their affairs straight, do what they want to do, see whom they want to see and so on. But he almost did. I had the difficult task to start making the calls. To tell my sister and brothers and step mom what I had just found out. I wanted anyone that wanted to see him, hug him and tell him just how special he was to have the chance to do so and time was of the essence.

As Dad got weaker, I moved in to help take care of him. I organized my work schedule to where I would work in the late afternoons or at night and help Angie take care of him during the day. I slept when he did and enjoyed many midnight egg sandwiches with him. It never bothered me that he could only eat a bite of the sandwich.

You may wonder why I'm sharing this with you. My Dad didn't get the full six months. He died on July 20th, 2003. We made sure that he laughed every chance he could and sometimes he simply laughed because he caught me and Angie "discussing things" between "ourselves" and we had NO clue he was awake. We made sure that anyone that wanted to see him had the chance and we all had time with him to tell him just how much he meant to us. I asked several times if there was anything he wanted and no matter what it was, I'd make sure he had it. Even though he was at the point nothing much would stay down when it came to food.

If you found out that you only had six months, what would you do? Who would you see? What calls would you make?

My next question is WHY would you wait until you only have six months? Start doing what you want to do. You have life dreams! Start on them. No matter how slowly you think you may be accomplishing them, start on them NOW. One of my dreams is to visit all 50 states. When we look at vacations, we look at a state we have not been to. Make the list and start chipping away at it. One of my dreams is to publish a book. In all of the spare time that I do not have, I'm slooooooowly chipping away at it. Work on those dreams NOW.

Schedule a visit with those that you have not seen and make those calls. We live in a period where it's easier now than ever to keep up with people we adore. Send the email, send the ecard or send the paper card. Tell those that are special to you just how special they are. Don't wait until you find out that you don't have much time left.

Do it now.

Six months is not long. Before we know it Christmas will be here again and it's only February.

Work towards your dreams
Plan the visit
Make the call
Give the hugs freely

Say I love you. Say it again. Say it once more.

Do it now, don't wait.

Tell me, what are some of your dreams you are working on.

Did you make the phone call, plan the visit or give the extra hugs? I hope so, I truly do!

{{{{HUGS}}}} yall

Photo: June 11, 2003 one of the last few photos of me and my dad