Immediately upon hearing her words, tears welled up in my eyes and frustration and anger burned within my heart.
I miss the next part of the conversation because I’m looking up to the sky asking God…”really??? you WERE supposed to reveal to the doctors what is going on and you don’t? really??”
She stops speaking. She said, Ms. Wikle did you hear me? Megan’s CT Scan was normal except for a small twist in her intestines.
I told her I understood her, but didn’t understand what could be causing all of this.
It’s a process she said.
I shake my head and by now, tears are streaming down my cheeks.
My heart hurts for my daughter. She has endured so much and is just now 18. This last year alone has been filled with test after test only to hear "everything is normal." First her stomach was paralyzed and then 3 years later, something DIFFERENT is causing her food not to stay down but NO one knows what it is….
Frustrated I ask what next. 2 more test are ordered. One of which was done almost exactly a year ago.
We are journaling what will stay down. 2 teaspoons of grits, 4 spoons of mashed potatoes. 4 oz of applesauce or yogurt, 1 spoon of scrambled eggs with the hopes that it can help them to see or think of what could be going on.
Really – is this the life she is destined to live?
I don’t understand, I don’t know what God wants us to see. My heart is filled with what Lord, what do you want?
After much prayer and saturating my heart with verse after verse, I realize I may never know, I realize thing may or may not change and she may never eat more than that.
I know God is faithful and only God’s grace will get us through.
We are facing the impossible.
For comfort, I search the scriptures for those who faced the impossible.
- Children of Israel – faced death by Pharaoh’s army or death in the Red Sea – impossible….but God stepped in and brought them safely to the other side of the sea.
- Esther and her entire race of people faced death and their fate was sealed by the King – impossible….but God stepped in and prepared the way for them to defend themselves.
- Elijah stood alone and faced hundreds of false prophets – impossible….but God was on his side and that was all he needed.
- Daniel faced hungry lions because of his faithfulness to pray – impossible….but God shut the lion’s mouths and gave Daniel the peace that only God can pour out.
- The 3 Hebrew Children were tossed into the fiery furnace that was so hot, the guy that opened the door was burned to death – impossible….but God walked in the fire WITH them.
- Sarah longed for a son and God had promised her and Abraham that their seed would exceed the grains of sand and stars in the sky and now she was past child bearing years – impossible….but God gave her a son and kept His promise
- Abraham was asked to make a sacrifice – of his one and only son – impossible….but God supplied a lamb upon seeing that Abraham was willing to offer up his son as the Lord had asked.
With God all things are possible:
Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me
Jeremiah 32:27 - Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?
Genesis 18:14 Is any thing too hard for the LORD?
How long will this continue? I don’t know.
Will more tears fall? Yes – until she is healed, fixed or whatever needs to be done for her to consume a normal meal.
Do I trust God with her? yes…completely. It’s all I got and thankfully it’s all I need.
Will I cry out in frustration, anger and ask why? Probably. I’m a mom and we hate to see our children suffer.
I will continue to pray, to saturate our family in prayer and trust the Lord as HE can bring us through the impossible.
Will you pray with us?
Will you trust God through the impossible with us?
I can only imagine the ministry that He has prepared for Megan as a young lady. I pray daily that God will give her the strength to continue on this journey so that God can get all the glory.
I know God will use this and HER in a mighty way.
We will face the impossible….but we are not facing it alone.
Thank you Lord for the mercy and grace you pour out. I trust you with my family. Strengthen our faith and love as we walk this journey together. in Jesus name I ask...amen.