10 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

I love that you are spreading joy and making a difference daily!

You make your way through the day, being kind, courteous and just plain nice to people.

You smile, open doors and treat others with respect.

You point out the positive, encourage those that are struggling and still do what you can to bring people up.

You Are Kind…to most people.

There is one very important person that you tend to forget.

YOURSELF

You know I’m speaking the truth here.  Most of us are extremely critical of ourselves and there usually isn’t a good reason for it at all.

10 Ways that everyone can be Kinder to themselves:

1. Looks – This is first on my list because I know that everyone has something about their looks that they are dissatisfied with.  Did you see that key word? EVERYONE.  You aren’t alone in this.  Everyone has something they hate about themselves.  Long nose, big butt, frizzy hair, point ears, bushy eyebrows etc.  When those people that love you the most look at you, they don’t see the things you are most critical of; they see YOU – the core of you!  Your heart, how you love, how you give and how you care.  When they flip through their pictures of you, they look at what you were doing, remember how much fun you were having and how special you are.  Sure, work on losing weight if you need to, go to the eyebrow waxing torture chamber and tame the crazy hair somehow…but do NOT let those things hold you back from enjoying the gift of daily blessings and joy with those you love.  Take the pictures, laugh with friends and have fun! Those that love you most will always love you regardless of your looks.
2. Goals – Everyone has goals and dreams that they long to reach.  Trouble is, we set such unrealistic goals that we can never reach them.  We often think that if we shoot for the moon and miss, we’ll land in the stars and that is true.  Trouble is there are those that if they don’t reach their goals, they let that disappointment steal their joy and they simply stop trying.  Learn to set goals that are attainable and keep raising the bar as you reach your goals. A small step forward is still a step forward.  My friend and coach Bridget Haymond has an excellent article on this.  I hope you’ll take time to read it and start reaching those goals you set. Article Here-->  The 8 Beatitudes of Goal Setting
3. To Do Lists – Raise your hand if you are guilty of the never ending to do list.  (Yes, my  hand is up) Many people will judge the success of their day based on if they got everything done from their list or not.  Don’t do this.  You are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.  Let that list guide you.  My list is because my memory is horrible.  When I think of something that needs to be done, I jot it down so that I will not forget it.  Don’t let your to do list bring you down and keep you there.  Use the list for what it was intended for….a tool to keep you on track. Here are some fun printables that I use to help me remember.
4. Moments of Joy – Our days are busy, our nights seem short and before we know it, it’s time to go to bed only to get up and do it again the next day.  Take some time to enjoy some moments that make your heart smile.  It might be a manicure, a makeover or it might be some time curled up with a book and your favorite cup of tea or coffee.  Don’t let a single day pass you by without enjoying a special moment for yourself.  Don't let these thieves steal your Joy. 
5. Housework – This is truly never ending.   There will always be something to do in your home.  Always.  If you have small kids, don’t let housework interfere with some play time.  Make sure you play with the kids.  The housework will always be there, but the children won’t.  If you have unexpected guests and your house isn’t white glove presentable, smile and enjoy the company.  They aren’t there to see how you keep house; they are there to see you. PS...delegate.  Get your kids involved. This will ensure that they can truly take care of themselves when they are older.
6. Activities – Everyone is busy and no one wants to say no.  We have to take child 1 here, child 2 there and still find time to make family time count.  Yes, you want your children to experience sports and other activities, but keep in mind it is ok to say no.  Don’t over schedule them or yourself.  If someone asks for your help and you can’t do it, kindly say “I’d like to but I can’t.” Or say, “I can’t do that, but I can do this for you” and then offer up what you could do.  My philosophy is it never hurts to ask because the very worst that can happen is they will say no.  Here is an article on taming the madness of special occasions.
7. Laugh – This is a must.  You need to be able to laugh at yourself and for yourself.  If you need to watch funny videos or read a joke a day, make sure you take some time to laugh today!  Laughter lifts the heavy heart and helps you through the difficult days.  And besides, your heart will thank you! I love crazy random things. Here is where I pin those things.
8. Celebrate your strengths – You have things you excel in! Celebrate them and do them.  Use what you are good at to help you reach your goals and those things that you struggle with, ask for help.  Don’t beat yourself up because you can’t do something.  Find someone who excels in what you are weak at and work together.  Focus on what you are good at and move past what you struggle with.  We all struggle and we all need help with things.  Ask for help when you need it and don’t feel guilty.
9. Let It Go – There are days when I simply wish I didn’t care so much.  It’s something that I struggle with but every day, I’m learning to let go of things that I can’t control.  I’ve always been a “roll with it” kind of gal, but the “let me fix it” “take charge” person in me just wants to handle things.  That just isn’t going to always be possible.  You truly have to “Change what you can, Fix what is wrong and find the good in the rest!” - Here is more on Letting Go
10. YOU Matter – Many struggle with feeling useless.  As soon as you get this settled in your heart, you will be kinder to yourself.  You are the world to someone and you matter more to them than you’ll ever know.  Write it on your mirror, make a note to yourself at the top of your to do list or calendar – “I will be kind to myself today because I matter!”

FREEBIE – just because I truly want you to be kind to yourself, just like you are to others – One extra – keep a good attitude.  I know when life beats you up and the struggle is great it is the most difficult time to maintain a positive attitude, but trust me – it will help you more than you realize!

Respect yourself, love yourself and be kind to yourself!

I challenge you to take the time today to be kind to yourself.

JOYn the conversation:

If you are willing to take time to be kinder to yourself, let me know.

What do you struggle with?  Are you willing to share it? Doing so will help and encourage others.

What are your thoughts about how we treat ourselves? How else can we be kind to ourselves?

Do you have an article relating to this? If so, please take a moment and leave a link in the comment section so that others can easily hop over there and be encouraged.

Please visit our main site for this article & share your thoughts as well as check out other links on this topic. - http://www.spreading-joy.org/site/10-ways-to-be-kind-to-yourself/

I have Learned

This year has been a roller coaster of emotions.

I’ve been thinking lately on all the lessons that I’ve learned this year and here is a quick list of 30 things that I’ve learned.

I have learned:

1. Time together is a priceless gift
2. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and those that truly love you will always see the beauty
3. Laughter and joy are contagious and we as a society need to do more of it on purpose
4. Changes usually end up for the best, even though the process is difficult sometimes
5. Pain is pain and it all hurts
6. Sometimes a phone call softens the horrid blows life throws at you
7. Just because something didn’t turn out the way we expected doesn’t mean we failed
8. Today is most important as tomorrow may never come
9. The pain, struggles and issues of today help to prepare me for tomorrow
10. Sometimes all you can do is cry
11. Yesterday can create a wiser today which creates a brighter tomorrow
12. That no matter how hard I try sometimes, that “it” just isn’t going to happen…and it’s ok
13. That there is beauty in brokenness
14. To focus on facts instead of feelings, because feelings can be and often are incorrect
15. Those that push us away need us the most
16. The legacy you leave is your choice
17. That even though your heart is in a million pieces that you can still love greater than you ever imagined
18. Unconditional love is such a gift
19. That sometimes there is just no understanding…that’s just the way it is
20. That even if it’s a good thing, it might not be good for you
21. Not to let the bad times steal the joy of the moment
22. That there will always be “something” going on, but more importantly the Lord is always by my side
23. Not to let the shallowness and criticism of others define who I am and what I do
24. That no matter how bad it gets, it will always work out for good….always
25. That spreading joy without expectation of anything in return has a far greater return than anyone can imagine
26. Anything that isn’t finished today, usually waits until tomorrow and it’s ok
27. That when I can’t even speak that uttering a simple prayer of “Lord, help me” can bring waves of grace and peace
28. That there is always hope
29. That I’m not going to please people, so I’m just going to focus on pleasing the Lord
30. That doing a little is better than doing nothing at all

Even though this is a mixture of good and bad…it’s truth, it’s real and authentic.

What have you learned through life’s lessons?

I hope that you’ll leave them below in the comment section and encourage those that will read this after you.

The Everyday Hero

Heroes

They don’t always leap tall buildings in a single bound and drive invisible jets.  They normally don’t run around with capes and tights and have lasso’s that force the truth from people.

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.  Age isn’t a factor and neither is IQ.

Sometimes the biggest heroes are those that you’d never suspect.  Their clothing, their education and their current home/vehicle doesn't indicate in the least bit that there is a hero around, but make no mistake – they are there.

Dictionary.com says that a hero is

“a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his bravedeeds and noble qualities.”

My favorite Super hero is Wonder Woman.  She is an ordinary gal by day and when the circumstance calls for it, she transforms herself into a force to be reckoned with.

So many people feel that because they are simply “ordinary” that they don’t impact this world.  This simply isn't true.  The fact that you try says more about you than you'll ever realize!

It’s the ordinary people doing what they can day in and day out that leave the legacy and continually impacts the hearts of those they come in contact with.

Let me tell you of some of the heroes I know:

• Their bodies are worn, their hands don’t work like they use to and their memory is cloudy at best. They still get up, expecting to make a difference for others and do so to the best of their ability
• They are steady in the midst of instability
• Pain is their constant companion but they get up one more time and do what they can
• They give of the little resources that they have and expect nothing in return
• They seize daily opportunities to bring a smile to someone, knowing that it could change that person’s entire day
• They smile through the tears
• They try and try again AND try again....
• They are courageous, even when it seems everyone is paralyzed with fear
• They are consistent day in and day out with kindness to friends and family
• They play with their children, while remaining the parent that stands firm as an authority figure in their life, knowing that friendship will come one day
• They laugh…. But are completely serious when necessary
• They make memories and treasure them
• They go above and beyond what is asked without hesitation
• The realize the value of “a little bit”
• They are gentle and full of compassion, yet firm and stand strong
• They take action, not waiting and hoping that someone else will do it
• They positively influence people, while being well aware that they WILL influence someone daily, so they make it for the best
• The serve our country and stand strong for her, even if they have to stand alone

They are real… real as rain and I love surrounding myself with amazing heroes like this!  Many people let the “ordinary” fool them, but I always try and look past the ordinary, deep into the heart and find the extraordinary…the hero!

Why do we focus on the negative aspects of our self?  We are ok, just the way we are!

Why do we not see the hero that lies within our own heart?

I don’t want us to walk around puffed up and prideful, but too many people spend much of their lives at the other end of that thought, as if their life is meaningless.

YOU – you truly do matter and you make a huge difference! I’m thankful for the Spreading Joy Heroes that step up each month and make a donation to help make a positive impact on others. You are an amazing Spreading Joy Hero!

I’m thankful for those who give at each fundraiser, knowing that the kids we help will never get to personally tell them thank you – but still…they help anyway!  You are a Spreading Joy Hero!

Do you see the hero in the ordinary? Or does the ordinary just glaze over your heart and you miss the gem that is there, waiting to be discovered?

Do you appreciate when someone steps up, doing a little more than expected?

What about you? YOU ARE a hero to someone!  You may not feel like it on most days, but you are.

Tell me a little about the heroes in your world!  Share a little of their story!

Be a Hero today!

Have fun Spreading JOY!

What in the World

After this week’s bombing attack in Boston, I’m hearing a lot of questions like:

• What is this world coming to?
• What in the world does it take to get someone to this kind of place?
• Why would someone feel that this is the only thing they can do to get their point across?

And many others….

I have to say that I truly don’t know what or why and I wonder if we will ever actually know the real truth behind what has happened to provoke the Boston attack.

I know that we can’t change the past, we can’t undo the harm, fear and terror that so many had to endure and we can’t bring back the lives that were lost…. but I ALSO KNOW that we (those of us who wonder why, what etc) can stand apart from this type of violence and shine brighter than the shadow that this has cast on us.  We can be beacon of good during this dark time in the USA.  We can pierce the darkness and gloom by being what we want this world to be.

The truthful answer to the question “what is this world coming to” is that it is becoming what I am becoming, and what YOU are becoming.

If we want things to be better and a ensure better world for our children then we need to be mindful of what WE as individuals (and our family) are doing and take the extra steps to be force for good in this world!

Just for starters – here are immediate things we can do to pierce the darkness with a ray of JOY and sunshine that will be contagious!

• YOU be the good that you are desperately looking for – don’t wait for others to do it – you start right now! Take Action!
• YOU be the example that you want your family to follow – don’t assume that someone else in your family will be the matriarch
• YOU be the one to help others without expecting a single thing in return – people are always willing to help, usually as long as there is something in it for them. Don’t be this way – stand apart from the crowd
• YOU be the one to seek the positive and good in the negative situations – it’s there, it is usually covered up.  I was so thrilled to see reporters trying to find the positive when they were reporting this tragedy.  Yes, it’s a tragedy but like one reporter said, it could have been much worse had the bomb exploded just an hour earlier.
• YOU be the one that sprinkles the day with joy – JOY is contagious, laughter is contagious – USE them every single day!
• YOU be the one that is authentic when everyone is simply blending in – Doing this will give others courage to be authentic.   Trust me, you are amazing!
• YOU be the one to show the positive emotions – Hug daily, laugh a lot and enjoy every moment that you can! Down south, we hug lots and us southern gals don’t take offense to a perfect gentleman calling us Darhlin’ – A hug and smile are 2 of the most powerful things that anyone can do! It’s powerful – USE IT!
• YOU be the one to encourage others and to do so passionately – be passionate about encouraging others! It helps more than you may ever realize
• YOU be the one to appreciate and acknowledge – A simple thank you is a positive force that carries such an impact!  Thank you for your time, thank you for caring, thank you for thinking of me, thank you for giving, thank you for doing, thank you for going….. Thank you is powerful!
• YOU be the one to boldly lead the way and be the good that everyone is looking for – Let it start with you.  Don’t worry about who is doing what – YOU be the leader you wish others were!

What are your thoughts as to what the everyday ordinary individual that is wondering “what in the world” can do right now to be the good they want to see and that everyone is looking for?

When people are asking what in the world is going on with society what do you tell them?  Do you encourage them? Do you blend in with the gloom?

My challenge to YOU - - Stand out, be different – be the good!

Have fun Spreading JOY!